Learning Curve

Today I've been thinking and have realised that I have learned so much since Molly arrived. Every day is a challenge and she's doing something different and new all the time - even if it's just a little facial expression or a funny new noise. I'm sure I read somewhere that the first year is the most intense growing and learning time for children.

So, I've learned that a sleeping baby is the most peaceful and mesmerising thing on this earth. Having Molly fall asleep on me, or while she feeds is blissful. I can happily watch her sleep just as happily as I can watch her play. My Mum told me this would happen. Once again Mum, you're right.

I've learned that breasts are not just 'for fun'. I must admit to being a little bit in awe of my own body. I was once led to believe (by a caring aunt) that I would never cope with labour. But hey, what do you know, I did. Although breast feeding is by no means easy to get the hang of, it is now a joy. I am so pleased and proud of us both for getting it right. I've also learned that breast feeding is the most effective weight loss programme ever invented. I was actually struggling to maintain my weight whilst eating like a horse - how cool is that?!?

I've learned that I can survive (and yes, it is sometimes just survive) on 3 or 4 hours sleep a night. All those times during the pregnancy that I moaned about being tired, well, I was lying. Now I know what true exhaustion is. It's not all bad! No, really, it's do-able. And there is really nothing to compare with nursing your child at 3 in the morning under a fleecy rug. At no other time in your life will 3 in the morning be ok to be awake.

I've learned that there is nothing more terrifying and exciting and daunting and a million and one other emotions all at once than raising and being responsible for your own child. But mostly I've learned that no matter how many times I feel like I'm getting into my stride and really getting the hang of this motherhood lark another 'challenge' will arise and knock me flat on my ass and doubting my abilities again. I just have to keep remembering what a dear friend of mine told me when I was having a teensy panic attack about being able to cope (at about 8 months pregnant). He said that all parents are making it up as they go along, and that as long as we are 'winging it with love' then we can't go wrong. This should be our motto. We don't know what we're doing, but we're winging it with love.